Well, I heard some folks talkin’ ’bout this thing called a “lobster dress Mugler“. What in the tarnation is that? Sounds like somethin’ you’d catch outta the crick, not somethin’ you’d wear! But I guess city folks got their own way of doin’ things. So, I did a little snoopin’ around, and here’s what I found out.
Seems like this Mugler fella, he made some fancy dresses. And one of ’em, it’s got a big ol’ lobster on it! Now, I ain’t never seen a lobster in my life, ‘cept maybe in a picture book, but I know they’re them red critters with the claws. Why you’d want one on your dress, I don’t know. Maybe it’s good luck, like a rabbit’s foot? Or maybe it keeps the bugs away? But that don’t sound right. Bugs like them things.
This lobster dress, it’s white, like a sheet. Plain as can be, ‘cept for that big red lobster starin’ at ya. And they say it’s got a red band around the middle, like a belt. I reckon you could wear it to a party, if you’re the type to wear a lobster to a party. Some rich lady wore it once, a long time ago. I seen a picture. She looked like she was goin’ somewhere important.
They say this Mugler fella, he got the idea from some other fella, an artist. An artist painted that lobster, they say. Painted it right on the dress! Imagine that. I can’t even draw a straight line, let alone a lobster. My hands are too used to holding a hoe. And that artist fella, they say he was one of them “surrealist” types. Don’t ask me what that means. Sounds like somethin’ out of a dream. Or maybe a nightmare, dependin’ on how you feel ’bout lobsters on dresses.
- This lobster dress is white.
- It’s got a big, red lobster on it.
- It’s got a red band around the waist.
- Some artist fella painted the lobster.
- They call him a “surrealist”.
- One time, some rich lady wore it somewhere.
That Mugler, he made all sorts of dresses, not just the lobster one. I guess if you got the money, you can wear whatever you want, even a dress with a sea critter on it. I bet that dress cost a pretty penny. More than I made in a year pickin’ cotton, that’s for sure. But some folks, they like that kinda thing. They like to show off. Me, I’m happy with my old floral print. It’s comfortable, and it don’t have no lobsters on it, thank goodness.
Now, I seen some other dresses this Mugler made. Some of ’em are black, like a crow’s feather. Some are shiny, like a beetle’s back. One even had stars on it, like the night sky. He sure had a lot of ideas, this Mugler fella. I don’t understand ’em all, but I guess they’re pretty to some folks. But not for me. I guess if I had his dress, I would sell it and buy me a new cow. That would be something.
If you’re lookin’ for one of these Mugler dresses, ‘specially that lobster dress, I don’t know where you’d find it. Maybe in one of them fancy stores in the city. Or maybe in a museum, like a dinosaur bone. It is an old dress after all. They don’t make ’em like that anymore, I reckon. Not with lobsters on ’em, at least. But if you’re young, you want some fancy dress, well you go ahead. It’s a free world after all. If you can get your hands on this lobster dress, then good for you! I hope it brings you some kinda luck. I’d sure be happy to see you in it.
Anyways, that’s all I know ’bout this lobster dress Mugler. It’s a strange thing, that’s for sure. But I guess that’s the way the world is. Full of strange and wonderful things, like lobsters on dresses. And that’s just somethin’ this old lady’s gotta get used to. Maybe I’ll go bake a pie now. Apple, not lobster. That’s one thing I do know how to make.
