Well, let me tell ya ’bout them runway model bikini things. I saw some pictures, you know, on that phone thingy my grandkid showed me. Lordy, them girls was practically wearin’ nothin’!
They call ’em “micro bikinis,” like, if you blink, you might miss ’em. I ain’t never seen nothin’ like it. Back in my day, swimsuits covered ya up good. Now, it’s all just little bits of string and cloth, the size of a dish rag, I swear.
I heard tell it was some fancy shindig in Miami, “Swim Week” they called it. Sounds like a lot of fuss over not much fabric, if you ask me. All them fancy folks gatherin’ ‘round to watch girls walk around half-naked. I don’t get it, but I guess that’s what they do in the city.
- They had all sorts of them bikinis. Some shiny ones, like a fish scale.
- Some made of that crocheted stuff, looked like my old doilies.
- And some, would you believe it, just held on with tape! Tape! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a wonder they stayed on.
One girl, Alix Earle, I think they called her, she was walkin’ in somethin’ called “Sports Illustrated.” Now, that magazine, I seen it at the grocery store checkout. Always got pretty girls on the cover, but this was somethin’ else. She was struttin’ her stuff, smilin’ and posin’, in one of them teeny-weeny bikinis. Good for her, I guess, if that’s what she wants to do. But it makes me wonder if her mama approves.
They had other girls too, lots of ’em. They dressed ’em up in all kinds of them bikinis, and some cover-up things too, but mostly it was about the bikinis. Fifty-three different ones, they said! That’s a lot of changin’ clothes, I reckon. I bet them girls was tired after all that walkin’ and posin’.
Before them girls could walk, though, they had to get all dolled up. Hair and makeup, I guess. And prob’ly some spray tan, to make ‘em look all golden and glowy. It’s a whole production, you know. Not like when I used to go swimmin’ in the creek, just put on my old swimsuit and jump in.
And the colors! My oh my, the colors! They had this bright green color, they called it “chartreuse,” fancy name for a bright green. It looked kinda nice against their tanned skin, I gotta admit. Made ’em look like summer itself. Then there was them ruffles and lace, girly stuff, ya know? One fella, “Club L London” they called him, he put big ruffles on his bikinis. Made the girls look like big flowers, kinda pretty, kinda silly.
They had all sorts of moments on that runway, they said. Extravagant looks, they called ‘em. Big hats and fancy shoes, I guess. And of course, them micro bikinis. And even some swimsuits for men, but I wasn’t payin’ much attention to them. And some old-timey prints, like from back in the day, but way skimpier than what we used to wear.
So, that’s the lowdown on them runway model bikinis, as best as I can tell ya. It’s a whole different world than what I’m used to. But hey, to each their own, I always say. If them girls wanna wear bits of string and tape, that’s their business. Me? I’ll stick to my good ol’ fashioned swimsuit, the one that covers me up proper. No need for me to be flashin’ myself around like that.
But I gotta say, those girls are brave. Walkin’ around in front of all them people, practically naked. I don’t know if I could do it. Maybe when I was younger, and had a figure like them, but not now. Now, I’m just happy sittin’ on my porch, watchin’ the birds and sippin’ my sweet tea. Let them young’uns have their fancy bikinis and their city ways. I’m content with my simple life.
And you know what else? It all seems kinda… temporary, doesn’t it? Like, one minute them bikinis is the latest thing, and the next minute, they’re onto somethin’ else. It’s just a lot of fuss, if you ask me. But then again, what do I know? I’m just an old woman, sittin’ here, talkin’ ’bout things I don’t really understand. But that’s alright. It keeps me entertained, anyway.
