The “Karan David” Method: My Two Cents
So, everyone’s been asking me about my experience with the whole “Karan David” system. Well, let me tell you, it was something else. Not exactly what they promised on the shiny brochures, you know?
It all started when management brought in this guy, Karan David, or maybe it was a consulting firm named that, who knows. They were all about “synergy” and “agile-waterfall-hybrid-dynamism” – yeah, a mouthful. The core idea, if you could even call it that, was to document every single mouse click. I’m not kidding. Every. Single. Click.
My “practice” with this? Oh, it was a joy. My first week trying to implement this was pure chaos.
- I’d open an email: document it.
- Click “reply”: document it.
- Type my reply: try to figure out how to document “thinking” and “typing.”
- Hit send: document it.
My actual work output plummeted, like, by 80%. But hey, my “Karan David Process Adherence Report” was looking stellar! Full of glorious, detailed entries about clicking buttons.
We had these daily stand-ups, not about what we achieved, but about how well we documented our clicks. It was surreal. Our manager, bless her soul, tried to make sense of it. She’d ask, “So, Mark, your click-log shows you spent 45 minutes on Outlook. What was the outcome?” And I’d be like, “I successfully documented 237 clicks related to sending three emails.” Productive, right?
The best part? This one time, the whole system crashed. The special software they gave us for logging this stuff just went belly-up. For a whole afternoon, we couldn’t log anything. You’d think people would be frustrated, right? Nope. It was the most productive afternoon we’d had in months! People were actually doing work. Talking to each other. Solving problems. It was like a scene from a movie where the spell is broken.
Of course, the next day, Karan David (or his disciples) sent out a stern memo about the importance of manual backup logging if the system failed. They even suggested we keep a handwritten notebook. A NOTEBOOK. In this day and age. To log mouse clicks. I swear, you can’t make this stuff up.
I remember this one colleague, Sarah, she was a quiet type. She actually tried the notebook thing. She had this tiny, meticulous handwriting. After a week, her notebook looked like some ancient, coded script. Her actual project? Completely stalled. But her click-log notebook was a masterpiece of pointless dedication.
So yeah, “Karan David.” It was an experience. Did it improve anything? Not that I saw. Did it generate a lot of useless paperwork and stress? Absolutely. I think the main takeaway was that sometimes, the fanciest-sounding methodologies are just a way to make simple things incredibly complicated. I left that place not long after they doubled down on it, making “Click Compliance” a part of our performance reviews. Fun times.
