So last week I saw this paparazzi pic of Rihanna running errands, right? Looked crazy simple – just oversized shirt, jeans, and sunglasses. Thought “hell, I can do that.” Grabbed my ratty t-shirt from college and scissors. Here’s how it went down:
The Thrift Store Hunt
First mistake? Thinking my closet had anything usable. Dug through piles finding:
- One faded band tee with armpit stains
- Blazer from job interviews 10 years ago
- Jeans that somehow shrunk lengthwise
Pro tip: Just go thrifting. Hit three stores yesterday morning. Found this navy oversized blazer for $4. Shoulder pads made me look like a football player but whatever.
Scissors Time
Rihanna’s pics showed distressed denim shorts. My contribution? Grabbed kitchen scissors and hacked at old jeans:
- Chopped right leg above knee
- Snipped random holes near pockets
- Immediate regret when threads unravelled like spaghetti
Fixed it by shoving duct tape inside the hem. Classy, I know.
The “Effortless” Styling Disaster
Tried the whole “throw it on messy” look this morning. Results:
- Oversized blazer swallowed my torso whole
- DIY shorts gave thigh rash when walking
- Sunglasses made everything too damn dark indoors
Almost rage-quit when the blazer shoulder seam ripped reaching for coffee. But hey – that’s authentic distress right?
What Actually Worked
Turns out celebrities get things tailored. Who knew? Made two changes:
- Rolled blazer sleeves to elbows
- Safety-pinned shorts for actual coverage
Game changer: Tied knot at bottom of plain white tee. Suddenly proportions weren’t tragic. Threw on cheap hoop earrings and called it done.
Saw my reflection in a car window later. Did I look like Rihanna? Hell no. But didn’t look like a sleep-deprived raccoon either. Worth the duct tape burns.
