Alright so today I’m diving into that fancy green tote everyone’s carrying around lately. You know the one – looks like someone poked holes in leather with a toothpick? Yeah, Goyard. Keep hearing “investment piece” this and “timeless” that. Decided to see for myself if this thing’s actually worth emptying your wallet for. Buckle up.
The Hunting Begins
First things first, tried just walking into a store. Big mistake. Felt like trying to borrow sugar from Fort Knox. Boutique was empty except for one lady giving me the eyeball like I might steal the carpet. Asked to see the basic St. Louis tote – the one all over Instagram. Salesperson gave me this long sigh like I’d asked her to move furniture. She finally plopped one down. “Of course, this is very popular,” she said, sounding bored. Felt the canvas. Okay, stiff like a new baseball cap, and that painted pattern? Kinda rough under your fingers.
Hands-On Testing
Wanted to see if it could survive real life. Grabbed my keys, phone, and a half-full water bottle – normal purse stuff, right? Dropped em all inside.
- Immediate issue: Flimsy AF.
- Second issue: Bag collapsed like a dying star. Stuff just sank to the bottom in a pile.
- Third issue: The straps? Thin! Dug into my shoulder carrying it around my apartment for five minutes.
Also ran my finger lightly over a corner. Scratched it. Seriously? I barely touched it! That painted finish seems about as durable as wet tissue paper.
The Price Tag Shock
Here’s the gut punch. For basically a painted canvas bag thinner than my raincoat? They want over two grand. Plus like, three hundred bucks extra if you want the “luxury” of painted stripes or initials on it. Held it next to my much cheaper totes. Material difference wasn’t night and day. More like… twilight and slightly later twilight.
The Final Verdict
So, is Goyard worth it? For the hype? Sure, if you wanna flash a logo rich people recognize. For actual quality you can feel? Nah. Flimsy. Scratches if you look at it funny. Carries like a plastic grocery sack digging into your shoulder. Feels less like “craftsmanship” and more like “we know you’ll pay for the name.” Spent the whole damn day wondering if I was missing something. Turns out I wasn’t. My take? It’s a flex. Nothing more. Save your money or get something actually sturdier without the bonkers price tag. Whole thing left me kinda grumpy, honestly. Over two thousand bucks… for this?
