Alright folks, let’s talk 90s blazers. Everyone says they’re cool again, right? So I dug out this old thrift shop monster from my closet – dusty, shoulders wider than my future, smelled vaguely of mothballs and regret. Figured it was time for an experiment.
The Great Dig-Out
First step was actually finding the damn thing. Buried under ski jackets and a pile of ‘maybe someday’ clothes. Pulled it out, gave it a good shake (dust cloud nearly choked me), and laid it on the bed. Color? This weird muted green, almost khaki but sadder. Fabric felt coarse, like wearing burlap dipped in shellac. Already questioning my life choices.
First Try: Total Disaster
Grabbed what I thought was safe: a plain black tee and jeans. Slapped the blazer on top. Looked like I robbed a clown. The shoulders went halfway to my elbows, and the length made my legs look weirdly short. Felt like a kid playing dress-up in dad’s office cast-offs. Not the vibe. Took selfies anyway, laughed at myself, deleted them immediately. Nope.
Adjusting Tactics
Okay, maybe structure matters. Remembered those 90s pics: everything seemed fitted underneath. Dug deeper into the closet:
- Found a cropped white tank top – the kind you maybe wear under things. Risky.
- Dragged out some high-waisted black trousers – wide leg, almost bootcut. Super vintage.
- Grabbed my chunkiest white sneakers. Comfort first, always.
Figured, what the hell. Tucked the tank top tight into the trousers, threw the blazer back on. Buttoned just the top button because that’s what old magazines showed.
The Stumble-Into-It Win
Looked in the mirror. Actually… kinda worked? The cropped tank made the blazer’s bulk less overwhelming. The wide pants balanced the crazy shoulders. Sneakers kept it grounded. Added some tiny silver hoop earrings. Walked around the apartment, pretending to get coffee. Didn’t trip. Progress.
The Finishing Touch (or Fumble)
Still felt like something was missing. Saw the stack of old band tees. Bold move: took a faded grey crew neck, cut it stupidly short myself (wonky edges, whatever), layered it under the blazer over the tank top. Peeked out the bottom just a little. Messy? Yeah. But suddenly it clicked. The bulk, the layers, the slight trashiness – that was the authentic 90s chaos I was missing.
Took selfies again. Didn’t hate them. Went outside. Felt stupid. Felt cool. Mostly just felt sweaty because that blazer does. not. breathe. But hey, that’s retro authenticity for you. Point is, don’t be scared to layer weird stuff and cut up old shirts. Started feeling like a weird cross between a grunge extra and a substitute teacher. Mission accomplished, kinda.
