Alright so I actually need tan heels for this wedding next month, right? Michael Kors popped into my head – looks classy, probs comfy enough. Seemed straightforward. Famous last words.
First thing, I waltz onto the shopping website. Mistake number one. Scrolled past like twenty different “tan” shades. Light tan? Dark tan? Nude tan? Beige that looks suspiciously tan? It’s a minefield. My brain started glitching. How tan is “Tan”? Is my tan the same as their tan? Who knows.
Then came the styles. Block heel? Stiletto? Kitten heel? Platform? Straps? No straps? Ankle strap? T-strap? Felt like I needed a damn engineering degree just to pick a shoe. I had a vague idea: closed toe, probs an ankle strap for security, medium heel height – gotta dance, ya know? But narrowing it down? Painful.
Well joke’s on me. Found a pair labeled “Tan Leather Ankle Strap Heels”. Pictures looked good. Reviews? Mixed bag. Some said “true to size”, others screamed “RUNS SMALL!” Half a size up? Stick true? My usual size felt like the safe bet. Clicked buy. Felt accomplished. Idiotic.
Shoes arrive. Look gorgeous. That “tan” is more like caramel, but okay, close enough. Slip them on. Standing? Fine. Walk five steps in my living room? My pinky toe starts screaming. Pinching like crazy at the front. The heel? Felt okay for about 30 seconds. Then that dull ache started creeping up my ankle bone where the strap sits. Tried adjusting the buckle. Too loose? Flopping off. One hole tighter? Cutting off circulation. Perfect spot just… didn’t exist. Tried wearing thick socks, stretching them – felt ridiculous wrestling with shoes. The leather was stiff, unforgiving. They just weren’t budging in the right ways.
Two weeks later, feet still sore after ten minutes. Wedding getting closer. Panic mode. Returned the suckers. Took the loss on shipping. Ugh.
What actually works (for me)? Lessons learned the hard way:
- SEE THE COLOR IN PERSON: Screen tan ain’t real tan. Gotta eyeball it under store lights or be ready for surprises.
- HEEL HEIGHT IS A LIAR: That 3-inch block heel? Probs feels like 4 if you ain’t used to it often. Be brutally honest about what your feet can handle.
- MATTERS A LOT: Soft, flexible leather? Good. Stiff patent leather? Probs gonna fight you all night (or cripple you). Saw the word “leather,” didn’t think about the type.
- WHERE IT HURTS: That strap edge? The toe box seam? Press on it hard in the store while standing. If it feels like it might rub? It will cut you open later. Bet on it.
- RUNS SMALL MEANS RUNS SMALL: Ignore your usual number. If 12 reviews say size up, JUST SIZE UP. My stubbornness cost me.
The Real Bottom Line
Don’t be me. Don’t trust pictures and vague size charts. “Tan” ain’t one color. “Heel height” lies. “Leather” ain’t automatically comfy. You gotta put hands on. Feel the material. Walk laps around the store like you’re marching into battle. Scrutinize that strap. Bend your foot. See where it creases and where it bites. Pay attention to the stiffness. Getting it right sucks. Getting it wrong sucks worse. Time and sore feet wasted.
