So I got these beat-up old sneakers lying around, the sole’s flappin’ like a dead fish. Figured, why not try fixin’ ’em myself? Grabbed my busted leather jacket from the garage – that thing ain’t seen daylight since ’09.
The Messy Start
Tore into that jacket first with kitchen scissors. Snipped off chunks like I was butcherin’ roadkill. Bits flew everywhere – kid yelled “What’s that awful smell?!” Yeah, old leather reeks.
- Glue Battle: Squeezed epoxy on the shoe sole like toothpaste. Stuff dripped all over the kitchen floor. Dog walked through it – left sticky paw prints to the balcony.
- Stabbed Holes: Grabbed a screwdriver instead of a punch. Poked jagged holes for stitching while watchin’ bad reruns.
- Thread Disaster: Tried usin’ dental floss ’cause I couldn’t find waxed thread. Snapped three times. Swore at the ceiling fan.
Patches & Regrets
Slapped leather patches where the toe wore through. They looked like Frankenstein’s bandages. Used pliers to yank the needle through thick spots – needle snapped mid-pull. Found another one rustin’ in a junk drawer.
Epoxy Nightmare glued my thumb to a patch. Peelin’ it off took actual skin. Shoulda worn gloves, but ain’t got any.
The “Finished” Trainwreck
Tried ’em on after the glue dried. Stiff as concrete. Walked around like a robot with rusted knees. Kid laughed sayin’ I made “monster shoes.” Dog won’t even sniff ’em.
They’re sittin’ by the door now – sole’s glued solid, patches are ugly as sin. Still squeaks when I flex ’em. But hey, saved twenty bucks. Maybe they’ll survive til trash day.
