Okay, so check this out. I was messing around in my kitchen the other day, and I got this crazy idea to try and make bacon cologne. Yeah, you heard that right. Bacon cologne.
First off, I grabbed a whole pound of bacon – thick-cut, because why not? I figured the better the bacon, the better the cologne, right?
Next, I needed to render that fat. I chopped the bacon into smaller pieces and tossed it in a skillet over medium heat. I just stood there, watching and stirring, as it sizzled and popped. This took a while, maybe like 30-40 minutes, until the bacon was crispy and the fat was all melted and clear.
Once the bacon was super crispy, I pulled it out and put it on some paper towels to drain. The bacon itself? That was my snack for later. Don’t judge.
Now, for the tricky part. I strained the bacon fat through a cheesecloth into a clean jar. I wanted to get rid of any little bits of bacon that might gunk up my cologne later on.
After that, I let the bacon fat cool down a bit. I didn’t want it to solidify, but I didn’t want it piping hot either. Once it was lukewarm, I added some vodka. I read online that vodka helps to preserve the scent and makes it sprayable. I poured in about two ounces of vodka for every eight ounces of bacon fat. Just eyeballed it, really.
Then I added a few drops of some smoky essential oil I had lying around. I figured it would give the bacon scent a little extra oomph. Maybe like 5-6 drops? I honestly don’t remember. Just went with my gut.
I stirred everything together really well and poured it into a small spray bottle I bought from the drugstore. This was important cause I want it to actually come out as a mist.
And that was it! I had bacon cologne. Did it smell exactly like bacon? Not really. It was more like a smoky, salty, vaguely bacon-y scent. I sprayed some on my wrist to test it out. My wife said I smelled like breakfast. Not sure if that’s a compliment or not.
Honestly, it’s more of a novelty thing than something I’d actually wear out in public. But hey, it was a fun experiment. And now I can say I made bacon cologne. How many people can say that?
Would I do it again? Probably not. It was kind of a hassle. But if you’re bored and have some bacon fat lying around, give it a shot. Just don’t expect it to smell like a gourmet bacon cheeseburger.
