So last Tuesday I’m scrolling through YouTube after dinner, thinking about how bad ads ruin my mood. Suddenly decided to go down the rabbit hole researching universally hated commercials. Grabbed my laptop and a cold soda – this was gonna take all night.
The Hunt Begins
Started simple: typed “most awful ads ever” into Google. Thousands of results popped up. Scrolled past boring marketing articles until I found a Reddit thread titled “Ads That Made You Stab Your Mute Button”. Jackpot. Copied the top 7 hated ones onto a sticky note:
- That cringey HeadOn “apply directly to forehead” zombie chant
- Quiznos creepy rat creatures singing
- Microsoft Windows 95 Start Me Up disaster
- Peloton’s tone-deaf holiday wife ad
- Pepsi Kendall Jenner protest mess
- Colgate’s “get really close” camera horror
- Google’s “selfish ledger” privacy nightmare
Figured YouTube would have all these gems. Searched “HeadOn commercial” – damn that thing looked like a bad infomercial from 2002. Dude just kept repeating “apply directly to forehead” like a broken robot. Made me want to throw my remote.
The Cringe Marathon
Opened 7 browser tabs like a crazy person. Played them all back-to-back. Big mistake.
- Quizno’s rats: Who approved those fuzzy nightmare creatures? Looked like moldy bread came to life.
- Windows 95 ad: Saw Mick Jagger’s face and got hype. Two seconds later – nope. Just old guys dancing badly to remixed Stones songs.
- Peloton wife: Felt secondhand embarrassment watching this rich lady cry over her exercise bike diary. Christmas morning and she’s sweating? Lame.
Needed eye bleach after the Colgate one. That close-up toothpaste shot felt like a dental nightmare. Honestly yelled “BACK UP DUDE!” at my screen.
The Aftermath
My ears were bleeding from repetitive jingles. That HeadOn chant stuck in my brain like glue. Tried watching cat videos to recover – still heard “apply directly to forehead” over purring. Went to bed with cringe shakes.
Woke up Wednesday feeling violated by advertising. Sent the links to three friends saying “WATCH THESE AND SUFFER WITH ME.” They all texted back with vomiting emojis. Mission accomplished.
Still don’t understand why marketing teams thought these were good ideas. Bet some exec got fired after each one blew up. At least now I know: if ads make you feel actual pain, you’re not crazy. Millions hated them too.
