Alright, so last night I finally got around to watching that Doris Payne biopic everybody’s been whispering about. Honestly? Didn’t expect much cause true crime stuff usually puts me to sleep. Grabbed my laptop around 8 PM, made some terrible microwave popcorn, and just dove in blind.
First Impressions Were Rough
Opening scene hits with Halle Berry in old-age makeup shuffling through a jewelry store. My immediate thought? “Damn, that’s some crusty face paint.” Started second-guessing whether this was some low-budget Netflix junk. Camera kept zooming in on her hands doing these weird little movements – looked like she forgot where she put her car keys.
Then The Flashbacks Kicked In
Suddenly we’re back in the 70s with young Doris pulling heists. And holy hell – Halle flips a switch. That woman straight up became somebody else. Watched her do this thing where she’d:
- Drop her voice an octave when scamming rich guys
- Smile with just one side of her mouth when lying
- Walk different in heels versus flats during robberies
Found myself leaning closer to the screen during her courtroom scenes too. She’d blink real slow while the lawyer yelled, like she was already planning her next score. Forgot I was eating popcorn entirely.
Problem Areas
Gotta be real though – the movie itself drags worse than my Uncle Frank after Thanksgiving dinner. Middle chunk where they show her childhood? Almost tapped out there. Script felt like somebody read Doris’s Wikipedia page and called it a day. Other actors might as well have been cardboard cutouts holding Halle up.
Final Verdict
So is the movie good? Eh, it’s watchable if you’re doing laundry. But Halle Berry? Woman deserves another Oscar just for that jewelry store scene alone. Watched her fake-remember a security guard’s birthday to distract him while stealing diamonds, and my jaw actually dropped. Still thinking about how she made stealing watches look more intense than car chases.
Would I recommend it? Only if you wanna see an acting masterclass wrapped in a mediocre film. My microwave popcorn deserved better, but Halle Berry absolutely did not.
